Today, eight years ago, my Dad died. Since some years, my Mum and I take the day off and do something nice and meaningful together. We decided, to visit the village where my Mum grew up and where I spend a lot of weekends and holidays of my childhood.
My Great Great Grandpa once build a fabulous house there in the Badgasse in Berolzheim, Baden Württemberg. Nothing huge and pompous, but three floors made of red sandstone, hard work, laughter and love. It stood there for two World Wars and was always full of children and adults. My Grandpa died in 1986 and since then my Grandma was the last person living there. In 2008 – she was already 90 years old – she still heated her rooms with a wooden stove in the kitchen. But the house risked to collapse and so my Grandma moved to an assisted living home. All the daughters already lived somewhere else and so the house was sold to a neighbor who demolished the dilapidated building and put up a garage instead. My Grandma died in 2014 at 95.
Those are some pictures from the 50s to the 80s showing members of the family on the steps in front of the house.
I haven’t been to Berolzheim since more than 12 years because I didn’t feel I could bear the sight of the non existing house – the place of some of my dearest childhood memories – being replaced by a garage. But today I felt, I go seeing it. I frequently feel, that my attachment to “things” is quite tight compared to others and when I talk to my Mom, I know, that she feels just the same. It is – like if the things are gone – the memories are gone, too. I don’t want to attach myself to things. I wanted to feel, that those memories won’t be lost, just because the house has gone. And they aren’t. Just yesterday I read the following: “Jeder Mensch sucht nach Halt. Dabei liegt der einzige Halt im Loslassen.” (Hape Kerkeling). I would translate it like that:
“Everyone is looking for something to hold on to. But the only possibility to find something to hold on to, is to let go.“
And in those times of change, there are things that will go and others that will come. And some old things have to go to make space for new things. And all of that is normal and good and maybe will even become much better than before. Who knows? Maybe it was a possibility for a good change in the life of someone?
I’m sad to see it gone. But is is still engraved in the corner of happy memories in my heart.
The place where the house once was and the village:
I’m so sad looking at those pictures. On the second and fifth you can see the huge trees on the neighbours estate. Well, they are all cut down now. 20 huge pine trees. Gone. On the other hand: I really like the new neighbors. I’m just sad, that they don’t like trees.
Because of covid my Mom wasn’t able to have a party for her 70th birthday last year. So we had her party at our family gathering in August.
When my Grandma died some years ago, I looked at all the old family pictures from the 50s and younger and with those pictures in mind I wrote in her obituary: “For me she was the calming role model and responsible for a lively and cheerful big family in which there were as good as no quarrels – without any psychology books.”
When I look at the pictures of this event, I know that she did very well and still effects us all today, seven years after she went away forever.
Coco came to visit Pavlov or – you can also say – Eva and Olli came to visit us we had coffee and the two dogs played for hours, slept, played again and killed my bergenia field. Coco is a Great Dane and will soon be much bigger than Pavlov.
From all the countries and landscapes they came. Druids, magicians, inventors, artists, scientists and clairvoyants. They came with their burden in form of a virus and they came to take its power away. To ban it from the surface of Mother Earth. Like last year, only better.
After the burning of the viruses, a portal in heaven opened and a red rainbow appeared. Unfortunately we – the humans – are not yet ready to to read the signs.
And than darkness and rain came and the ceremony began …
Incredibly great changes become visible when taking pictures of the same garden very early in the morning or after the rain. I’m always impressed how nature changes during the seasons or with light and weather.